it's a Thursday

Finally i have a Thursday off
didn need to go to college~ wheeeee...
happy and sad..(obviously i'm emo-ing..xp)
happy cuz i've got a free day due to The End of sum classes for sem 1
and sad cuz there's another presentation for tomorrow.
sigh~
exhausted~
finals is coming soon
and yet i'm not flipping my books..xp
dun feel like studying..
damn dizzy when i see those tiny tiny words
and after reading and reading it still didn get into my brain
i give up!
just try luck during exams..haha
and my mum is going to kill me if i fail any of the subject
it'll gonna cost her at least a thousand per subject if i retake..xp

Hell Heels..@.@

it's a compulsory to wear formal for presentation
sienz~
i prefer wearing Tees + Short + Flip Flops..
comfortable..xp
a 3 inches of high heels really kills me on That Tuesday (1st presentation @2009)
sedaya international is having some kinda construction going on or i should say renovation
here close down there close down..zzz
have to walk and walk and walk to reach block C-where our lesson helds
even wana go to library also got problems
i'm like climbing and climbing cuz that road is a slope
with high heel-juz a normal 3 inches one
well,
i'm fine with heels when i do my shopping..xp
maybe cuz i'm concentrating on looking around and i didn notice if the heels does hurt my feet
but when i'm in sku on the stupid road...
super hard for me to reach my destination!
it deeply hurts my feet!!
*ish*
and loads of stairs to ups and downs...zzz
sigh~
thank god i didn fell!
if not.... .... ...(dare not think)

happenings~

wat on earth is this happenings to me!
tuesday~ bloody moral presentation - war
tuesday~ film and art presentation - recordings (embarrassing)
wednesday ~ office application - laptop
help!!!!
i dun wan to live anymore
i give up
i dun wan study anymore
i dun wan all these anymore
i am goin crazy
i juz wan to be me
T.T
i wan to go back to the pass
i wan to go back to secondary
i wan to go back to ns
i only wan my happy moments!!!
feeling so dead!
sigh~

i'm soooo sick!!!

it's almost the end of the 1st sem

damn sickening

it means my final is no far away

but dat doesn affect me

exams doesn bother me!

i'm juz sick of studying

i need a break!!!

argh~~

have to start coarse selection again

a big headache

here clash..there clash

why cant the college management set all properly?!!!

~juz so sick~

undergoing

when one was born into this world,

they're arent alone,

they have ppls with them which are called family

but when one grows up

they learned to be alone

and when time comes

they intend to get into a relationship

lucky ppls may bump into once and for all

and then, they'll have their love ones to be with them

to share, to care, to love, and to face...

they arent alone anymore

unlucky ppls may bump into unaccepted ones

was once to be loved, was once to be shared,

was once to be cared, was once not alone

and sadly,

to be alone again

when things are to come to an end

tears falling

heart breaking

life-less

speech-less

meaning-less

nothings seems to be wonderful

... ... ...



i dun wana giv up anything in my life

especially those i treasure the most

especially those i wanted the most

especially those i cared the most

especially those i loved the most

but..

sometimes,

things doesn just come as wat we want

but i'll not giv up

never will giv up

juz for wat i wanted the most!!

sienZz

arghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm sick of my life

mentally sick

going crazzzzeeeeeeeee

i need a breakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk....

i want to be juz me and my trusted ones!! T.T

bad dream

昨晚，我发了一个恶梦
好恐怖的梦。。。
梦里好黑暗，
我被吸血鬼。。应该说成是僵尸。。
被僵尸追来填满‘他’的肚子
当然，一个鬼和一个人，
鬼一定得到‘他’所想要的
‘他’吸了我的血后，
我，居然没有死到！
奇迹。。
这只僵尸居然会说话。。
我听见‘他’说，
怎么还有‘生’的味道。。
我当时不敢呼吸，动也不动地装死。。
装死也不容易，停止呼吸好痛苦。。xp
过后不知怎样就晕去了。。。。

duno y will have this type of dream~

random~

duno duno duno...
i think this is the term i use to used since i was childhood
i really duno..
i have no idea...
huh??..
wat is dat??...
parents providing everything...
to some ppl,
to older ppl,
to ppl without everything,
they do think is good..
but it's because they provide, means they care..
in other way of saying means they still can control u!
i dun hav the basic thing i wanted the most
Freedom~
maybe not all are like me, but i am one of the thousands out there,
i know it's good to be protected, to be care, to be love
but that doesn helps anymore at wat i am now,
i'm not growing,
i'm not independent,
i dun understand the basic living and society needs
how am i going to survive if i'm still carrying on this type of situation in future?
i'm actually one of the 生在福中不知福吧！
家家有本难念的经..你看我好，我看你好
有时候现在活得没有问题不代表是好事来的
而且就算有问题也不会说出来吧
现在还有父母
以后呢？
将来呢？
完完全全是黑漆漆的
在私生活里，很多时候，我都是独自一个人面对困境
一天到晚嘻嘻哈哈的我，总让人觉得好无烦恼，其实那不是我
我只是一个很会逞强，甚至很会掩饰自己的烦恼的人而已
或许我都不想让周围的人陪我一起烦吧！多一个人烦不如少一个
在我朋友的眼中，我都是个快乐又活泼的人
内心深处的我，是这样的吗？
我是个快乐的人吗？？

giving it a try

i'm starting to accept everything that has change
i've no other choices just to accept everything
i've to be positive in everything
hoping everything turns out not bad
hoping everything will be alright..
sumtimes god doesn't juz give us wat we want
we'll hav to work for it
work for everything
and i am,
putting my effort in everything
but of cuz i need ur support
u're my energy
u're my soul
u're my everything~

2009

half a year has gone..
everythings seems so different as last time already!
but i cant always stay in the back and not moving forward wert!
the most happiest moment of the year was being with u!!(the one who is important to me)
i juz hope more and more happy moments to come!
i am waiting...waiting.. and hoping!!!!